Caregiver: Villain or Savoir?

During the earlier days caring for Mom while learning about what was happening to her between normal and abnormal aging, my first instinct was to save her. I wanted to swoop in to prevent further deterioration and help provide a better quality of life. Wouldn’t you? Unfortunately, this is a two-way road which requires a willing participant who wants to be saved. My help was not received as intended. I was perceived as overbearing and unkind. My family began to see me as the villain as I began to engage with Mom by fulfilling her needs as a person living with mixed Dementia rather than allowing her to waste away in her own home. Every decision made came with a sense of confidence knowing I wa

The Struggle to Live Second

I started this life in second place it seems. Second child, and eventually the middle child. As I grew into adolescent years, I learned the term middle-child syndrome and what it means to be second or sometimes invisible. My older sister had seniority with both privileges and responsibilities to look out for us younger siblings. Meanwhile, my younger sister seemed to get away with everything including not having any chores or obligations in the house since she was usually rushed off to dance practice or performances. This dynamic would brood far more jealousy than harmony. Each little individual fighting for attention and recognition but rarely living as a team or family unit. Trying to be f